This is my first blog post. I'm not sure how this works, or if this will reach anyone, but I could use some advice.

TL;DR: I want to post art and participate in art events and things, but I don't want art to takeover my life.

I am facing a weird dilemma. I would LOVE to be a part of "the art community." I love to draw (even though I'm not that great yet). I love art trades and collabs, Art Fight, contests and other things like that. I would love to share my ideas with other creative people. Maybe I could even be part of a larger project someday.

However, am intimidated by the idea of "being an artist."

First off, as "an artist," I would be expected to continuously improve. Now you may be wondering, why is that a bad thing? I'm not very good right now, but I am trying to get better. However, I do so by working on my drawings whenever I feel like it, not sitting down every day and drawing the same shapes over and over again for hourse until I "perfect" it (or have a breakdown). To me, drawing is a fun pastime, not a grind. I like to think I am slowly improving on my own terms.

Being "an artist" also entails creating some kind of "brand" for yourself; a distinctive style, name, signature, persona. A bunch of socials all with the same username and profile pic. It kind of takes away the anonymity of the internet. No one knows your real identity, but your "internet presence" is forever tied to yourself. You can't have separate Youtube, Twitter, Discord accounts with different names; they all have to be linked. You can't really leave or "start over" under a different name if you feel like it. (Do artists have secret socials that nobody knows about? Maybe they do lol, idk)

It also makes it harder to retain a sense of privacy. I am torn between wanting to show the world all of my drawings, OCs, and ideas, and not wanting to show anyone anything. My ideas are very personal to me. (Though I guess I'm already sharing my personal thoughts with this post.) If I got good enough and gained an "audience," I might feel obligated to post everything, even the stuff I want to keep to myself. It could also take away from my life or job pursuits. And as said before, I don't want drawing to become a job, I want to keep it a hobby.

I want to participate in the great world of art, but I don't want any of the expectations that come with it. Common sense says I probably should just keep my sh*t to myself or look for another outlet to express myself, but I don't really have one. I don't really have friends, or at least, friends that appreciate drawing as much as me. I don't have any art clubs or anything like that either. I feel very weird and conflicted.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?